Here comes 2018! Who’s Ready?

Gads, not me!  But we have to get ready.  Every day, I meet and talk to people who want to change their own personal worlds. With all that’s going on, all the changes, it’s hard to figure out what problem needs to handled first.  It’s a complex situation.  There are on the one hand, so many choices–and on the other hand, no guarantees.  Where do I invest my time, my energy, my hopes and dreams?

On Becoming An Advisor

I am certainly not the person people should be coming to for help and advice, but there it is, it happens all the time.  My mother-in-law was the same way.  People just came to her, sat down, talked, and came away with a different point of view.  I sat with her for twenty-five years, until the day she died, and learned how to be a sage, a wise woman, but, and this is important not perfectly.   I became more like Rafiki the monkey in Lion King than some calm, all-knowing, all-seeing expert. Looking back on it?  So was Janet.  She was a giver.   She was a reader of books, of people and of situations.  She was a confidante.  Also, a former elementary school teacher and a housewife, an office worker and a free-wheeling flapper back in the thirties. Janet was awesome.  Warm, caring, thoughtful, funny, opinionated but gentle, and I dedicate this blog to her memory.

In these days of life coaches and business coaches, of career changes and entire industry shifts, people are looking for help and guidance.  But the best guide of all is inside us.  

Perfect advice doesn’t exist.  In these days of wicked problems and complicated change, there is no ladder to success, no escalator, no sure route up the mountain.  The internal compass that we all have is gyrating wildly. All we can do is gather bits of imperfect advice and weigh it carefully.  It’s like piecing together a map. You get pieces here and there, but you are the one who has to do the traveling.

I’ve seen a good deal of the terrible terrain of living from many perspectives.  I’ve endured tremendous loss and pain. I’ve gone through several careers, two marriages, a few relationships and many therapists.  I’ve got kids and grandkids. Young women in particular (and anyone under fifty is young, mind you) come to me with problems (or I go to them and point out they are doing it wrong). Mostly about work, but work and life are so difficult to balance now.

I wish I had had me, someone in these modern times to talk to about life, marriage, money and career, kids and retirement and even sex and all that jazz.  But not even Janet on her best days could handle /all/ of these topics.  Not even I can handle all those topics.  But you know, I have questions.  I’ve been at this a good long time.  I’ve read many, many books. And, like that guy said on Game of Thrones, “I drink and I know things.” 

This blog is to share the things I know.  My ambition is to become a professional writer of books one day.  A blog is a good place to start in writing that book. I also can dimly see that a future career for me, after retirement, might be helping younger people find their pieces of the roadmaps of their lives and encourage them to keep hope alive no matter what the journey brings them.  A blog is a good way to get started on this journey.   So, that’s where I am starting.

Opening post, DONE!







Author: Lola

Recovering academic, real-life, honest to cornflakes anthropologist (Ph.D. and fieldwork and everything), tech-head and social media researcher.

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